Intended Parents

Building your family through donor conception, or surrogacy whether anticipated or not, is a unique experience and there is a lot of information to consider. For many heterosexual people, pursuing donor conception starts after an unexpected family building journey. For all, heterosexual and LGBTQ people it is filled with unique considerations and an emotional, physical, and financial impact.

Intended parents, donors, and surrogates all have an important part in building a family journey.

With this in mind, the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) has set guidelines for those using donor egg, sperm, or embryo and surrogacy to ensure all are empowered with information and opportunities to ask questions.  ASRM recommends a psychoeducation consultation with a mental health professional trained in working with those on fertility journeys and 3rd party reproduction. 

Most go into the meeting with apprehension and leave with a greater understanding and relief that important topics are raised and given a safe place to be explored. In essence, this meeting allows for Informed Consent.  The goal is for the intended parent, donor, and surrogate to feel comfortable with their decision to move forward.  

Intended parent (IP)

This psychoeducational consultation is focused on helping the IP to explore important topics, issues, decisions and emotions associated with their family building journey through 3rd party reproduction. In line with ASRM guidelines, we will discuss selecting a donor and surrogate, future relationships, feelings associated with DNA or non-DNA connection, disclosure to your child, concerns about bonding, your support system, legal ramifications, and resources.  The goal is to ensure the IP has enough information about what having a donor-conceived child is like, what common issues arise and an opportunity to think through options and tools to handle them. It is being informed before moving forward, it is informed consent. 

Donor (egg, sperm) and surrogates’ consultation

ASRM guidelines recommend psychoeducational consultations for donors and surrogates. A recommendation that many clinics align with to ensuring donors or surrogates recognizes the impact of sharing their DNA or carrying another’s child along with the short and long-term emotional and physical impact. The meeting includes both the donor or surrogate and partner if they have one. The donor or surrogate will also be asked to participate in a psychological screening PAI or MMPI. Once all is completed, a report, (if needed) will be provided to the clinic.

A little about the testing

The Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI) is an objective inventory of adult personality that assesses psycho-pathological syndromes and provides information relevant to clinical diagnosis, treatment planning, and screening for psychopathology

The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory

the MMPI- developed in the late 1930s,” revised and updated several times to improve accuracy and validity. The MMPI-2 test questions consist of 567 true-false and take approximately 60 to 90 minutes to complete; the MMPI-2-RF has 338 true-false questions.”

Embryo donors

This psychoeducational consultation, is similar the intended parent. It allows for informed consent.  The consult is an important place to discuss the significant and unique components of donating an embryo and allowing others to build their families.  The psychoeducational meeting follows ASRM guidelines.

Please know:

• Educational Consultations sessions are not a test. The purpose is to allow you to have informed consent in moving forward on your family-building journey. 
• Reports can be provided to your clinic or doctors as needed. 
• Most consultations are one hour in length

On a personal note, being part of someone’s family building journey is a privilege that I feel honored to be a part of.